Birth, Babies, & Bullet Proof Coffee
Pregnancy is a journey. Personal. Beautiful. Challenging. Unique. Along the way you grow. You become more aware of who you are – of what you can do. You meet people who build within you a confidence and assurance in your innate ability to bring forth life. This journey culminates with the most joyous and profound meeting. The meeting of someone you hardly know, but love with your whole being. This is the story of Benjamin Cade’s journey.
I knew I wanted this pregnancy and labor to be different. My first labor was fast and furious. From start to finish, Levi came into the world within four hours. I hardly had time to grasp what was occuring before we heard that hearty, infant scream every parent dreams of. In ways, labor left us with a fearful mindset. We were scared out of our minds at how quickly everything was happening. I remember thinking that I had to keep my legs crossed during the twenty minute drive to the hospital or this baby would be making his debut on a major St. Louis highway. Sadly, the hospital staff only perpetuated the emergency-like feeling we were having. After forty minutes of “settling” into the hospital room and pushing, Levi came into the world with much intensity! I had a second degree tear, episiotomy, and dozens of stitches; but, ultimately, I achieved the unmedicated, vaginal birth I had wanted. There was meconium in the waters, so our new baby was not placed immediately on my chest despite his lusty cries and perfect color; but, we were blessed with a healthy child and mama. We were in new-parent heaven, and nothing could diminish those first love-drunk moments. That being said, I knew that next time, I wanted it to be different. I wanted it to be peaceful. I wanted to feel safe. I wanted to feel supported from the professionals present at such an intimate event.
When I found out I was pregnant with baby number two, I immediately started researching my options. We would be moving halfway through my second trimester, so I began looking for birth options in our new home city – El Paso, TX. I was so pleased to find that a stand-alone birth center had opened within the past year, and was staffed by experienced midwives that stressed the importance of informed consent and the midwifery model. With a previous low-risk pregnancy, and this one shaping up the same, I scheduled a tour and my first appointment. It was like home. I felt comfortable, safe, and empowered. Throughout my pregnancy, I could freely ask questions, have conversations, and make the informed decisions for myself and my baby. This is the way it was supposed to be. I also began looking for a doula. From our previous experience, we both knew that we wanted an extra support person who had knowledge and experience to guide us and provide us with tools that we may not think of on our own. Once again, we were blessed to find a doula who had all of the above, but also had military experience. She was the perfect fit for us and the often tumultuous life of constant unknowns that comes with the military.
Forty weeks came and went with no signs of baby. I was beginning to become impatient even though I knew that “guess dates” are just that, a guess! But, anyone who has been pregnant understands the toll pregnancy can take on the body and mind. I was tired, sore, and ready to meet the newest member of our family. I continued with my weekly chiropractic care and added an aromatouch massage and session of acupuncture to lower my ever-increasing stress levels. As if he knew things were about to change, Levi woke up extra early the day Benjamin picked his birthday. I noticed some bloody show that morning and cramping that took me back to the beginnings of my labor with Levi. My midwives, doula, and I had an agreement that I contact them immediately if I had any signs of true labor. I knew these end of pregnancy symptoms felt different than others I had had so I made some phone calls. Todd was at an early morning formation/battalion run. I called him and told him I was going to eat some breakfast, but he should come home as soon as he could. By 7:10, we were on our way to the birth center.
This time, the drive was calm, and I remember asking Todd to hit as many bumps as he could. I did not want this to be a false alarm, and hoped the bumps would continue to encourage contractions. Twenty minutes later we were at the birth center, and I thought for sure contractions had ended and we’d be headed back to our regular weekday routine. I chose to be checked around 7:45. At that time, I was 4cm and in latent, or early, labor. One of my options was to take an herb tincture, walk, rest, and see if labor would progress. So, around 8:00, I took my first shot of herbs and orange juice. Todd, my doula, and I walked up down the streets surrounding the birth center for twenty minutes. During this time, my contractions increased and became more uncomfortable but still bearable. We returned to the birth center to monitor baby’s heart rate. Then, I took my second shot of herbs and orange juice. This time, we sat in the living room of the birth center and chatted. My lead midwife was making her routine cup of bulletproof coffee, and offered some to me. So, we sat, conversed, and drank our bulletproof coffee. I remember thinking to myself how wonderful this experience already was. I felt like I was at home. I felt like it was a safe and perfect environment to welcome new life. Towards the end of this twenty minute round, I began to feel contractions coming more frequently. I pulled out my phone, and started to time them. We checked baby’s heartbeat again, and I took my last round of herbs and orange juice. The plan was for me to start walking again, but, within five minutes, contractions were coming on top of each other. I was somewhat in disbelief that they weren’t spaced far enough apart to continue timing them, but I knew it would be impossible to take a walk around the block again. It was at that moment, I knew baby boy had picked his day!
We moved into the birthing room. I started on the cozy, queen bed lying on my left side. Todd was right there holding my hand, and my doula on the right providing pressure on my lower back. Around 10:30 my midwife checked me, she revealed baby’s heart rate was great and labor was definitely in full swing. What she didn’t tell me, was that during her check, a contraction sent me from 4cm to 6cm! I still believe she had an intuitive wisdom in not revealing this information to me. Had she, I would have become immediately anxious that labor would be moving too quickly for my mind and body to handle. Instead, she was calm and exuded a peaceful excitement that I’ve only seen from midwives. We had discussed “seeding” – harvesting the beneficial bacteria known as microbiota from the birth canal during labor – in the event that I did birth Benjamin in the birth tub. (To some, this practice is strange, but there is a variety of research showing that “seeding” infants born via c-section or in the water, both places where this bacteria either doesn’t exist or is diluted, can positively impact their gut development. I’ve provided a hyperlink to a quick article for those who may still be skeptical!) So, during this check we placed gauze in the birth canal to begin harvesting the microbiota.
Following the assurance that this was true labor and we would be meeting our second baby boy, was a moment I will never forget. My husband, holding my hand, looked at me with the deepest sincerity and said, “We are safe here. This is a safe place.” I think his confidence and reassurance was just what I needed to succumb to the primitive workings of labor. By 10:40, I had the instinctive need to continue labor on the toilet. I didn’t know it then, but this was my transition into the second stage of labor. I remember thinking during this time that I had hours to go, and I was going to need all of the support I could get. Was I wrong!
After about a minute or two on the toilet, I needed to get into the birth tub. I had taken lavender Epsom salt baths throughout this pregnancy to ease discomfort and relax away stress. So, it felt completely natural to seek those same benefits while in the throes of labor. It was about 10:45 when I entered the birth tub. I labored through two or three contractions in the tub while hugging my anchored husband and receiving pressure to my back by our doula. After that third contraction, I remember knowingly looking up to my midwife and saying: “I think I have to push.” I think my mind was still on guard, as I half expected her to say, “No, you’re not. You can’t be.” Instead, she looked at me, while rocking in the rocking chair, and said, “Ok. Let’s push.” It was a mere twenty minutes since active labor had started, and we were about to meet our little one! I pushed in sync with the wave of each contraction. My voice made primal low, guttural sounds with each push. The sound, I’m told, birth professionals know as the last hurrah in labor. During each push, my midwife applied pressure helping to focus my pushing and prevent tearing. It was instinctive, it was natural, it was calm, it was peaceful, it was the way it was supposed to be. At 11:03, after forty-eight minutes of labor, Benjamin Cade Drobina came serenely into this world. I reached down for him, pulled him close, and cried healing, ecstatic tears. All of a sudden, the room was occupied by one more.
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The following hours were spent in the comfort of the birth center bedroom. Benjamin spent these first hours surrounded by peace and comfort under low light and just the sounds of traffic from the road outside. He was surrounded with love: love from family and love from his birth professionals. He was never taken from us. And, we all watched and assisted as the routine exams of mother and baby occurred. Baby boy came in at 8lbs 8.5oz and measured 19 3/4in. I never once considered his size as a factor in making labor more difficult, and I’m grateful my mind never went there! Hours after his birth, big brother and Grammy arrived with homemade, brother-made cupcakes. We celebrated! By 4:00 that evening, we were ready to go home: Drobina, party of four.
