Precipitously First
Originally published September 27, 2018
-To my firstborn, the one who made me a mama. I feel like I ought to apologize for not writing this sooner. I had every intention of scribing this five years ago while your skin was still newborn soft and you smelled like only a baby does. It’s not that I didn’t want to write it. It’s not that you didn’t deserve your birth story to be told. It’s just that becoming a mama is this ginormously amazing moment that turns one’s world upside down, shakes one to her core, and requires one to face every fear she ever had. Becoming your mom was the best thing that ever happened to me. Becoming your mom was one of the most defining moments of my life. I thank God he blessed me with the privilege and opportunity to trek this journey. Your birth story has never left me, but has become more vivid as the years go by and I find myself reminiscing. So, to my Levi, five years ago today you were born into this world and here is your story.-
From the moment I saw those double lines, I knew our lives would be rocked and rolled in ways that we could never expect! You came into our lives quickly, while we were still getting to know each other in our newlywed stage. We didn’t know it then, but God had already chosen your name and its purpose for the future. We spent months planning our little life in the months leading up to your arrival. Dad left the Army to finish his degree. I completed and graduated with my master’s degree, and accepted my first job within my career path. We settled into our first home together. And, I researched vehemently everything I could about labor, birth, and babies. It was a busy time, full of uncertainty; yet, your impeding arrival joined us together making our partnership stronger.
By the time your due date approached, we had successfully completed our Bradley Method birthing courses, read many books, watched many births, prepared a space for you in our home, and celebrated you with many friends and family. We had taken test drives to the hospital to time how long it may take during different times of the day. We had chosen your birth place, and were ready to bring you into the world. I was still working fulltime on your due date, and had planned my final day of work for September 27. That last day of work was a bit on the slow side, and I remember taking at least four or five walks around our campus hoping to encourage you to meet us sooner rather than later. I remember feeling some tightness in my belly around three o’clock that afternoon, but didn’t think much of it. Unforeseen circumstances kept me at work longer than normal, and I missed a prenatal massage that I was so looking forward to. When I arrived home, I was exhausted, but relieved that work responsibilities were completed. My biggest job now was to wait for you to pick your birthday. Dad and I went out to eat that night since neither of us felt like cooking. We chose our family favorite, Hacienda, and enjoyed the cool September evening knowing it may be our final dinner as a couple.
We were just getting ready to pay the bill when I suddenly felt a pop and realized my bag of waters was leaking. I looked at your dad, and told him that we should probably get home and start preparing for labor. It was 6:00pm. As a first time mom, I expected labor would be at least twelve hours long. So, I envisioned walks around the neighborhood, watching a movie, eating snacks, and laboring at home for as long as possible. When we arrived home, it became apparent that labor was going to be more intense than I expected. I hopped into the bathtub thinking it would relax me and slow things down a bit; however, the reverse was true. My contractions were immediately on top of each other, and I was having a hard time talking through or in between them. We timed them and they were so close together that neither of us believed it! In fact, I remember your dad saying, “Really? Are you sure!?”
I’m not typically a procrastinator, but for some reason I had not yet packed our bag for the hospital. So, your dad started to frantically pack some bags while I attempted to breathe through the contractions. In the midst of all of this, your dad called our Bradley instructor to see if she had any input on how quickly things seemed to be progressing. It was during this phone call that I suddenly had the urge to use the restroom. I remember sitting on the toilet and beginning to push. That was the moment when it became extremely clear to me that you were coming, and you were coming quickly. I called your dad over explaining that I thought I was starting the pushing stage. I will never forget the look on his face, and his quick and confident decision making from there. He told me to pull my pants up, and get into the car. We started the drive to the hospital, calling and preparing them for our arrival. It was the most uncomfortable car ride of my life as I attempted to not push with the wave of each contraction. You’d be proud of your dad as he safely worked his way through traffic and city streets like a professional racecar driver!
We arrived at the hospital at 9:00pm. Dad quickly parked in the garage in one of the designated labor and delivery spots. I remember getting out of the car, and immediately having a contraction. I got on all fours right there in the parking lot and started pushing. At the same time, a brand new dad was coming down to retrieve some of the baby items he and his wife had left in the vehicle. He saw me, saw dad, and immediately knew what was happening. He quickly ran into the building, got a wheelchair, and had the security guard hold the elevator. It was almost impossible to get into the wheelchair and sit while having pushing contractions, but we made it up to labor and delivery where your Grammy, Baba, and Aunt Sarah were waiting. Knowing we were enroute, the nurses met us at the front desk and rushed us back into the delivery room.
I was quickly placed on the bed, and could finally start working with my contractions to bring you earth-side. My doctor was not on-call that weekend, so we were introduced to the on-call doctor. I was always hesitant about the lack of continuity of care the hospital presented, but the on-call doctor turned out to be the perfect person present for your birth. I had come into the hospital fully dilated (which wasn’t a surprise to me) and with the bag of waters intact. They asked if I was ok with breaking the bag of waters, and I agreed. They found meconium in the water, and things quickly became more urgent. While pushing, it became clear that you and I weren’t working together quite the way we would have liked. The doctor said that you were “jack knifed”, meaning your legs were sticking straight out into an “L” shape pushing against my abdomen. The doctor recommended using a belly binder to provide some extra resistance so my pushes could push you out more effectively. After placing that belly binder around my abdomen, you were out in one push. You came out so quickly, the doctor almost didn’t catch you! You were finally here at 9:44pm on September 27 (only three hours and forty-four minutes after labor began). You came into the world screaming with a good set of lungs and much to say. Totaling a whopping 7lbs and 4.4oz and measuring in at 19inches long, your soft blonde hair and sweet face had us swooning at first sight.
As soon as they could see you were well, they wrapped you up and brought you to my chest. I cried, dad cried. I remember holding you for the first time on the outside. It was as if I was experiencing life for the very first time. No one can ever really prepare you for that moment of meeting your first baby. It is a magical moment in which everything in the world makes sense and doesn’t all at the same time. It’s a moment in which you realize just how big and small the world truly is, and how much you do and don’t matter. It’s a once in a lifetime moment in which you take a complete 180 and you realize you are solely responsible for this tiny human’s life. It’s a defining moment, indeed, and one you can never forget no matter how many years pass or how many other children you welcome into your arms. In an instant, I experienced a love I never knew existed and one I would never forget.
Levi Joseph Drobina, in Hebrew your name means “joined in harmony”. I don’t think your dad and I ever realized the power your name would have in our lives. From the moment we found out you were being knitted in my womb, you joined us together in harmony. Your life has been an amazing blessing to our family, our marriage, and our future. Over the years, you have continued to join many together through diverse situations. I anticipate much of your life will be a testament to the name God chose for you. Happy Birthday, Levi Joseph Drobina.
